


End Me {Song Fic}

by Kacychase



Category: I Love Yoo (Webcomic)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-02-23 09:54:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23276269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kacychase/pseuds/Kacychase
Summary: This song fic includes Billie Eilish's "Bury a Friend" :)
Kudos: 4





	End Me {Song Fic}

**~--- CONTAINS SUICIDAL BEHAVIOUR AND THOUGHTS---~**

Huh. Here I am. Trapped in life. Tied to this punching bag. Hitting my thoughts out.

Listening to that one song over and over and over again. Not giving a f*ck about the environment anymore.

_What do you want from me?_

People should stop. They should leave me alone. Why are all those people here? Yui. Kousuke. Father. Every single damned person of the high class. But, there are you…

_Why don't you run from me?_

They already got me here. They already made me theirs, a deformed monster. Don’t be fooled. My friends… Why do I even have friends? They should leave me behind. For their own sakes… Shin-Ae, Dieter, Soushi. Just run.

_What are you wondering? What do you know?_

Shin-Ae. You look at me weirdly and we just became friends. How come? You seem to be aware. Your looks are getting through my wall, you don’t know… But at the same time you do. How do you do that?

_Why aren't you scared of me? Why do you care for me?_

Stop, Shin-Ae. You don’t need to do this. The way you care for me will destroy you. It will be in vain. Please, wake up. Watch out.

_When we all fall asleep, where do we go?_

What would happen then? People say that dreams would show what your subconscious is expressing. I can’t help but wonder what others might think. I don’t even care about mine. I know what it says.

_Come here_

I want to help her.

_Say it, spit it out, what is it exactly_

Shin-Ae seems like she’s in trouble, always, and no one is able to even observe her behaviour. But it's not only her. It's also Alyssa.

_You're payin'? Is the amount cleanin' you out, am I satisfactory?_

Can I even do that? Help her? Maybe it’s useless. Maybe I’m just a failure, it wouldn’t be anything new. Possibly, I’m just a way for her to be reminded of what plagues them.

_Today, I'm thinkin' about the things that are deadly_

I should stop that. No. I don’t want to. What was all those years of fighting against all these people worth then? I made it so far. I got so far in my life, even with all these failures… Except that no. I didn’t.

_The way I'm drinkin' you down_

_Like I wanna drown, like I wanna end me_

It’s not like I want to, right? I don’t want to get dragged down by theses thoughts, or this certain thing that is getting my self-esteem lower and lower every day. I know I can not hold out for long but… I am not using Shin-Ae while I try to help her, do I?

_Step on the glass, staple your tongue_

Oh how well I know this line. It’s like my whole parental relationship all over again.

_Bury a friend, try to wake up_

Bury a friend… Maybe that’s me. Maybe, the formal did it’s job in showing that I only worsen things. I make things break and I make things fail.

_Cannibal class, killing the son_

Killing… What a strong word. It’s always a strong word, yet soft enough to think of it as a sweet dream. As long as it’s no reality, my friends would be fine with it.

_Bury a friend, I wanna end me_

At this point of the song, this is where I should stop listening. I should stop.

_I wanna end me_

Stop.

_I wanna, I wanna, I wanna end me_

_I wanna, I wanna, I wanna_

_What do you want from me? Why don't you run from me?_

_What are you wondering? What do you know?_

I’m sure someone knows. I’m sure at least one of my friends knows of this, of me. Of this awful weakness.

_Why aren't you scared of me? Why do you care for me?_

_When we all fall asleep, where do we go?_

_Listen_

By now, I have thrown my headphones off and completely gone on it. Two, three, four lower punches, then a lower punch and even a kick. I don’t want to be anymore. The worst thing of listening and being addicted to this song is the fact that it pulls at me.

That I actually want to end me.

“Yeong-Gi?”

.

.

.

.

.

As Soushi and Dieter watch the tombstone, they can’t even measure the impact that it has on them.

Here lies

Nolan Ayers-Oliver Turlough-Lance Lochlainn

†December 21, 2019

“Yeong-Gi was not his real name?” Dieter’s question still arrived through his quivery voice. His shivering couldn’t recede even if the German wanted to. “No”, Soushi replied, his voice monotonous and rock-solid, as if he wasn’t dying inside. Yeong-Gi and him had shared the most. And it had been amazing to have such a supportive friend. But now, surroundings got the better of him. “I gotta tell you the story later”, he quickly commented as he threw one last glance at the real catalyst. The one who caused all of this.

Yui.

_What do you want from me? Why don't you run from me?_

_What are you wondering? What do you know?_

_Why aren't you scared of me? Why do you care for me?_

_When we all fall asleep, where do we go?_

**Careful.**


End file.
